Raising Twins: Am I Doing This Right?


It’s prevalent for new moms. I’m a new mom and surprise! I have twins.

Raising Twins: Am I Doing This Right?

A boy and girl.

A perfect family. All we need is a dog and we’re set! Well, on paper that’s what it looks like, but in real life, I have no clue if I’m doing all this right.

My twins are 3.5 years old. I take care of them everyday and I wonder if that’s the best thing for them.

I’m an Introvert Mama

Is that bad? I don’t know, but I’m not a big fan of play dates, going to classes or even going outside for that matter.

I like staying around home, going on walks around the neighborhood or to the park. I make an effort, of course, to set up play dates but this year, I’ve set up probably four total.

The result? Well, my twins don’t really like other kids. They rather play with each other. Is that typical of twins?

Probably, but of course, I feel it has something to do with me.

I Need a Long Umbilical Cord

This fall, to help them get ready for school….next year…I signed them up for swimming and skating lessons.

These activities are done without the parents. The parents stay, but don’t participate.


My kids just aren’t ready to be without me or their dad or another family member. Is that normal for almost four years old?

I’m not sure. So, are they like that because of me? Are they shy because of me?

What about school next year? Will they be able to say goodbye to me and go to school? Will I be able to say goodbye and not be a wreck while they’re gone?

Being a First Time Mom is Tough

I know other twin mommy’s and I feel they have it all together. Their twins are well-adjusted, they always have a smile on their face and of course they just know what to do.

Me – I’m lucky if I showered and have a shirt without a coffee stain on it. My twins are usually over-dressed because to me I’m always cold and I forget my cell phone and snacks.


Raising twins is hard. Especially if you have doubts.

So, what do you do with these doubts?

You’re Not Alone

First-time moms are all the same basically. We just parent by the seat of our pants. We may read a few parenting books, but of course, those strategies never work for our child.

Since starting TwinsMommy I’ve met so many wonderful moms online. It’s awesome to know that I can lean on them anytime and since they are bloggers and trying to grow their business like me, I know they can relate to what I’m going through.

You Don’t Give Up

It was hard for me to stop swimming lessons. I don’t give up and I don’t want to teach my twins that either.

I know we will re-visit swimming later on, and the thing to remember is to keep trying and don’t give up. My twins will excel on their own.

They will eventually feel safe enough to join a class while mom sits and watches.

It will happen.

Your Child is Happy

You feed your child, enrich their lives and take care of them. If they’re happy then you know you’re doing the right thing.

This is something I have to remember every day.

My twins are crazy and I work hard to not yell or fly off the handle. They are just 3.5 years old and are learning expectations and boundaries.

And I know, when mama is happy, my twins are ecstatic.

Happy wife, happy life as the saying goes 🙂

There are A Lot of Firsts in Your Life

Raising twins is just another first in my life. I had similar doubts when I started blogging and freelance writing.

There will be a lot of headaches, worries and laughs 🙂

The other day we went to a park and there was this sign:


Want to know what my son said?

“This means no dogs and this means no volcanoes.”

To, which I replied,

“So, do you see any dogs or volcanoes here at the park?”

My son,

“No mommy. No dogs or volcanoes. That means we can play now.”


I just go with it.

Are you a first-time mom? Have twins?

Leave a Reply


I SO needed this. I am a first time mom and my son is 6 months old! I will be heading back to school here soon to finish my nursing degree and I worry for the time that I am without him and him without me! He is definitely a mama’s boy and I am concerned about what he will be like without me there. I also worry that I caused him to be so close to me by tending to him 24/7! He is my baby though! It is definitely hard being a new mama!Reply to Cameryn
Hi Elna! So much has been said here, but my two cents to say are…it gets easier. Just hang in there! I have 3 boys, one 10 and twin 7-year-olds. They are going at each other constantly! It’s a madhouse some days. But this is better, actually, because back when the twins were in preschool my older son was so very jealous of all the attention his younger brothers got. He didn’t realize, as you already know, that twins are hard work and require lots of attention. I didn’t take them out a whole lot. Some, but not all the time. It was just too hard. They ended up being each other’s best friend from only having each other for so long. Once they were in preschool and made other friends, their personalities really shined and they began to bloom independently. They are still best friends, but the better parts of them have come out. Even big brother has noticed it. The playdates and birthday parties do get overwhelming sometimes, but overall its SO much easier now. I can actually take a shower without worrying. Freedom! I’ve followed you enough to know that you’re a good mom with a very caring heart. You’re doing great! And when you have bad days, just remember that you’re not alone. We’re all in this together. Blessings to you and your family!Reply to Gina
Gina, Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. This is such a new territory. My twins just turned 4 this year and tomorrow we are going to gymnastics for bigger kids. Up until then, we were doing the busy bees gym program for little ones where mom joins. But, they are 4 and ready for the next level where mom watches from another room! Boy oh boy, this is the first step to confidence building. The class is small (just the two of them and one other girl) so I know they will get the much-needed support and attention. Looking forward to tomorrow!Reply to Elna
I’m not a twin mom, but like all moms, I have doubts too. I think as long as they’re fed an happy, you’re doing an amazing job! I’m not always prepared and I don’t do –>any<– playdates. My daughter loves other kids (for the most part) and is so outgoing. Opposite of me. So it's totally not your fault. Idk why my kid is like she is. ? Keep up the awesome work Mama!Reply to Emily
Hey Emily, Thanks so much! I stopped taking my kids to swim class and skate class. They just cried way too much. I am taking them to drop ins but they get sick so often that I miss like a month at a time! I’m hoping that come April they can go on their own to preschool just two days a week!Reply to Elna
My twin fraternal girls will be 16 on Christmas. Enjoy the 3 year olds. We are teaching them to drive now. One is an introvert the other not so much. Teen age twin girls is challenging. We didn’t do play dates either. Their brother is 5 years older and getting them all out of the house was a challenge that you know well. We separated them in preschool and they did very well. We made this decision based on their personalities. You know your children. Do what you feel best doing. It goes by way too fast.Reply to Sandra
Hey Sandra! Thanks so much for your story. Wow 16 year old twins and an older son! For now, I think I will separate them for activities and keep them together in school until it makes sense to separate them. Yes, it is a challenge, but I take it one day at a time 🙂Reply to Elna
I’m not a first time mum… and I’m not a mummy to twins, but you know what? I have days/weeks/months where I feel just the same! Maybe the saying should be “happy mum, have fun” 🙂 (Sorry for the “mum” spelling, I just can’t do “mom” coming from New Zealand 😉 )Reply to Hannah
Hey Hannah! Thanks for your input. Yeah being a mom is a challenge period! Whether you have twins, one child or eight children, we all face similar challenges and doubts. That’s why I LOVE the mommy blogging community 🙂Reply to Elna
I know how you feel! My twins are 9 now, but when they were little, we never went anywhere. It’s HARD getting out alone with two babies or two toddlers! Even if I just had errands to run, I always waited until my husband or mother in law could be there to keep them for me. My kids took a long time to “adjust” to other kids, and the world in general, but they turned out totally fine! Look at it this way too, having twins as your first is AWESOME! If you ever decide to have another baby, it will be easy peasy! I have 4 kids now and it really is soooooo easy to have one after you’ve had two! Not saying it’s not hard for moms with one, it totally is, but when you start with two it’s just so different, like a crazy crash course in mommy-ing. 🙂 Hang in there, you’re doing great!Reply to Sarah
Hey Sarah! Thanks so much. That’s good to know that they adjusted 🙂 My twins sure don’t like other kids right now and prefer to be with each other! Yes, whenever I have one twin to watch, it’s super duper easy. They aren’t whining or crazy or vying for attention. They play by alone, help me cook and are great! Ha…Reply to Elna
Hey Elna i feel you. There’s so much pressure on moms to do everything and be perfect. I’m an introvert too. It’s definitely been an adjustment getting used to all the park visits, family visits, play dates and mothers groups. And still, no matter how much I do, it still feels like the expectation is to do more. Ahh! I guess it’s all just part of the balancing and juggling act we signed up for. PS. You’re doing a great job ?Reply to Cath
Hi Cath, Thanks. I think I would have been more eager to do play dates and things like that if I only had one child. But with twins, it’s a built in excuse almost. They can play together and keep each other company so there’s no “need” to always have a play date. But I know for them to grow and socialize I need to get out there more!Reply to Elna
I think that’s the mantra of most moms, twins or not…just go with it. You do what you gotta do. Great post Elna! 🙂Reply to Kimi
Hey Kimi! Thanks so much. I know I don’t talk much about my twins even though my blog is called TwinsMommy. Go figure 🙂 It’s sure a challenge for me as a first time mother with TWINS!Reply to Elna
Hi Elna. My twin boys are 12 years old now and the self doubt never goes away. Talking to other mums though makes me realise that we’re all going through the same things. When mine were babies I never took them out on play dates or went to baby clubs. They were fine when they started school – apart from a few tears for the first few days. If your children are happy then you don’t need to worry – just keep on doing what you’re doing and enjoy it- they grow up far too quickly!Reply to Alison
Hey Alison! Thanks so much for your wisdom! Yeah, I think I’m a worry wart and it may be rubbing off on my kids. When my daughter cries she screams! So, I’m just worried about their reaction. If they cry their heads off when they go on the rink and I’m right on the other side, I can’t imagine when I drop them off at school and leave. I do have about a year to work on it and I know they will do just fine. They will almost be five by the time they start school and I’m pretty sure that maturity will help them cope 🙂Reply to Elna