Twins

Sandcastles and Band-Aids: Being a Mom to Twins

My twins turned three this year and I’m still amazed I survived the first year!

I was up every 45 minutes for the first year of their lives. I was a zombie. I pumped milk every three hours around the clock. I changed about 40 diapers a day. When both babies cried, I struggled to hold them both at the same time.

Sandcastles and Band-aids: Being a Mom to Twins

But I survived!

My husband and I made the decision early on to move across the country to be closer to family because it takes a village to raise a family, right? We weren’t thriving when it was just the two of us. And you know what? It was the best decision ever.

With the support now, I was able to get my life in order and learn to be a mom, not just some milk-dispenser and pooper cleaner!

I’m a First Time Mom

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Taking care of my twins is the only thing I know about having children. All my preconceptions about motherhood went out the window.

I’d do chores when they slept

That lasted about a day. I became too exhausted or I had to pump. And then one twin would wake up after 20 minutes and wake up the other twin. And the cycle began of trying to put them down again.

I’d have activities every day

When my twins turned 2 I thought this was the year I would create a plan of activities. Sort of like a day care.

But, that soon disintegrated. Teething, diaper rash, potty training, tantrums, picky eating, chores and baby-proofing the house all took precedence. Oh, and sleep. They were finally sleeping through the night, which mean I could sleep!

I’d go to play groups and meet other moms

In the three years since having them, I’ve probably went to play groups about a dozen times. This is because I didn’t want my twins to get sick and well I wasn’t comfortable taking them out on my own.

I signed them up to music class and on the third outing, we all got the noro virus and me and the hubby were on our deathbeds practically! And I had to take care of vomiting twins.

So, yeah, I was hesitant to go to play groups after that!

Now that they are three – and I have more experience taking them out in public – I’ll be taking them out more, signing them up for activities and getting them ready for school the following year.

Mothering Three Year Old Twins

I’m amazed at how children grow. My background is in Psychology and child development. For most of my twenties I taught children with autism learn to speak, play, tell their moms that they loved them, and make friends.

So, when I see my twins spontaneously ask questions, or run up to me, hug me and say, “Mommy, I wuv you!” I’m simply amazed.

It would take years for children with autism to do such a task, and here are my twins, soaking up everything and growing like weeds.

Since I’m a first time mother, I’m pretty cautious. I have these thoughts of them falling and hurting themselves. If they run too fast on the asphalt or if they don’t hold on to the railing going down the stairs they could hurt themselves.

All these little things I never would have imagined plagued my mind every day.

So you can say, I may hover a bit more than other moms, because being a mom to twins is tricky at times.

But, if I want my children to flourish and grow up to be amazing little people, there comes a time where I have to loosen my grip, right?

Today we went to the park. Built sand castles. Played on the slides, swings, monkey bars, all the while I was cringing, worried they would hurt themselves.

“No, mommy, I’m a big boy. I can go up there.”

Yes, I know you are. But, I still think of you as a little one, son, and I’m just trying to protect you.

Another preconception I had was that as my twins grew, parenting would get easier.

But, it doesn’t.

It’s just different.

You have different worries and different lessons to teach at 1-years-old than at 3-years-old.

I’ve taken a big step today though. This is the week when we’ll take the rail off their cribs. They are three years and 5 months old. I know they’ve been ready for a while, I just wasn’t, until now.

Being Grateful

Mother’s day is approaching and it just reminds me of how grateful I am for what I have. While on a day-to-day basis taking care of twins and running a biz can be a challenge, over all, I love being a mom to twins.

Life goes by fast and I have to be mindful of that. That’s why I’m glad I have TwinsMommy. I can share some stories about what’s it like with twins and go back to old blog posts to re-live it all 🙂

On this Mother’s Day (or any day really), what will  you be grateful for?

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17 Comments

Thank you for sharing. I always wanted twins. Please pray for me .Congrats on your blessing and wow!Reply to Ammara
Love this!! My twin girls are 8 months old and I have a just turned two year old son! Busy, busy, but wouldn’t trade it for the world!! Did I mention I’m 41! ???Reply to April
Hey April, Wow, hands full! Yes my twins turned 5 now and I can’t believe how fast they are growing! Take each day!Reply to Elna
Oh my goshhhhhh, Elna, I LOVE this. My twin girls just turned 1 in February, BUT I have a 3-year-old son, so I can relate on so many levels! My husband and I constantly talk about what it’s going to be like when the twins are 3 and they can talk and run towards us. I don’t think my heart will be able to handle it! You are so right about it not getting easier, just different. Like… hooray, they are sleeping through the night… but now I have to entertain them every second they are awake! Thank you for sharing your life with is 🙂Reply to Caitlin
Hi Caitlin! I see your pins all over Pinterest 🙂 That’s amazing you have twins and a 3-year-old! Super mama! We just attended Kindergarten orientation and I can’t believe how much they’ve grown in only a few short months! I know you’ll do great!Reply to Elna
SO TRUE! All of it. I’m amazed my son is 3 and daughter is 1. You’d never think it would happen so fast and that you’d never do the chores…haha! My husband STILL comes home to a messy house just about every day – oh well. The good times with the kiddos are what really matters!Reply to Rachel
Hey Rachel! Thank so much for commenting. It is a crazy time of the year for sure. My twins are now almost four and it’s double the craziness! But I’m amazed by how much they know an perceive.Reply to Elna
My twins are 3 too and we also moved closer to family after they were born. We survived too. The year of 3 so far has been a lot of fun actually, better than crazy beginnings.Reply to Tara
Yay! another mom with twins! Love it 🙂 We need to band together. The blogging mamas with twins.Reply to Elna
Hi! I just found your blog through a comment you left on Embracing Simple Blog. I have two older boys (ages 5 1/2 and 4) and now are expecting boy/girl twins in September. Thank you for sharing your experience of being a twin mom, reading your post was a little frightening and yet encouraging. I’m not sure how we will handle 4 children but I’m sure we will survive it. :o)Reply to Tennille
Hey, Thanks so much for stopping by. Congrats on your blessing and wow! It will definitely be different 🙂 Make sure to get double of everything. I found two swings and two wraps like a Moby wrap works the best. And check out Twiniversity.com – I just became a writer for them!Reply to Elna
Oh, I always wanted twins. 🙂 I bet you hear that a lot. Thank you for sharing your journey. With all children it doesn’t get easier, but it does get different with each passing year. I wonder if you ever stop worrying about them getting hurt. My daughter is my daredevil and I invest in more hair dye with each passing year. My son, who is the teen, who should be giving me the gray hair is the careful one and I wonder and worry when he will scare the life out me. Being a mom, it’s amazing, exhausting and flies by too fast. Enjoy!Reply to Jen
Hey Jen! Ha thanks. I actually hear, “Oh I’m a twin!” or “My sister has twins.” Yeah I’m always concerned for their safety. My son thinks he’s 25 and my daughter thinks she’s 16..so here I am worried out of my wits between the two 🙂 No wonder I have gray hair coming in! Thanks for stopping by as usual and I’m really enjoying seeing and hearing familiar bloggers 🙂Reply to Elna
Happy Mother’s Day to you, Elna! I don’t have human children of my own so I must live through blogs like yours. I’m so glad you created this one. I’m already in love with it! Btw, my new boss as a 3-year-old and twin 2-year-olds. Oy vey, right? Power to all you mommies and daddies! BrenReply to Brenda
Hey Bren! Thanks so much! I love your new blog btw and can’t wait to read more. Yeah, twins is all I can handle. I can’t imagine having another child…like ever. Have a good weekend!Reply to Elna
They grow so fast that you have to remember to take time to enjoy them when they’re still young and small! Create lasting impressions and memories for them. They won’t remember you’re growing your business and blogs… they will remember the sandcastles, swings, and special outings. And hug them and kiss them 3 TIMES EACH DAY. This is a piece of advice I read when my son was tiny. It is amazing how taking time to do this will foster feelings of live and a sense of belonging and importance When my son started school, I would give him a hug and a kiss goodbye in the morning, more when he came home, amd more at bedtime. Every day. My son is now 26. I doubt he will even remember Mother’s Day. But each day I see him, he hugs me and kisses me tells me he loves me, so for me it’s Mother’s Day all the time!Reply to Lorraine
Hey Lorraine! You’re so right! There are some days when I’m totally focused on business and I have to stop myself and realize that another day went by and all I’ve done with them is chores! I’ll be sure to kiss them and hug them and cherish them 🙂 Enjoy your mother’s day!Reply to Elna